Excerpted from the Canton Intelligencer:

Sources present at the Cavaliers End of the Year Banquet said that it was an uncomfortable experience.

“My wife and I left as soon as we could,” remarked an employee in Cleveland’s front office, who wished to remain anonymous.

“When one of his teammates would walk up to receive their award, Lebron would alternate between long, slow claps and vigorous clapping.”

“It was pretty obvious he was still steamed by their lack of support during the Orlando series.”

Read more satirical news at Newsgrift.com

Or, “What’s waiting behind aisle #2?”

What stops an old guy from putting on his Fruit of the Looms in a gym locker room? Too much my friends, far too much. How many times do I have to walk into my local fitness club and witness senior porn?

Putting on their socks…in the nude.

Shaving…nude.

Checking phone messages…nuderama.

Deodorant…nuder.

Going for an additional head and groin towel-off…Old McNudald.

Big arm stretch and waist twist…Bachman-Nuder Overdrive.

(…more…)